I Talked to my Mom tonight

 I talked to my mom tonight, we were discussing the attack on France (Bastille Day truck attack that killed eighty on July 14th, 2016). I have not been able to hear any news on it myself only a little, my mom does not believe Isis was involved. My niece had told her that Isis does not believe in killing children and there were children among the dead. My heart breaks, even though I posted my feelings on a media site, I hope my state shows support for them, many countries have shown us support.

Then we got talking about 9/11. I told her my fears are worse now because my nephews and nieces are still growing up and most of all, my granddaughter and great niece. She said you cannot be afraid, when it is your time, it's your time.

I do feel in a huge way that I am here for a reason. I had been born three months early and only weighed two pounds, with very little technology back then, but I survived despite the odds against me. There is a purpose for my survival. I am now at a standstill in my life, in terms of overwhelming responsibility. I know this situation very well; I have been here many times and hated it but right now I love it because I get to focus on myself. I remember it used to drive me so crazy!

Well, now that my dad is in a nursing home, I am trying to find the right moment to talk to her about what my dad had done to me and when we hid from the authorities for 9 months. Does she believe me? Does she ever think about it? I am not sure.

In the mail today, I received a bill for two thousand dollars for my dad's care. So, we talked about when Dad first got sick, I was paying $1000.00 a month out of my pocket alone for those 2 years. She said she did not remember and felt horrible. I said “Well how much did it cost when I was born and had to stay in the hospital for 6 months. We are even!

I still need to have that talk I really need to know if she believed me because it really did happen.